People talk about ‘getting out of our comfort zone’ and ‘no pain, no gain’. Yes, I’ll be the first to agree with them. However, there comes a time when it is not about getting beyond our comfort zone. There comes a time when your subconscious is trying to communicate this to you, “Hey, it is not right for you. Your values don’t match.”

Each person holds certain values. Our values (or deep beliefs) govern how we see ourselves, how we see others and how we interact with people. When these values meet but don’t match, it creates disharmony in the person and his or her surrounding. When this happens, nothing you do will seem or feel right.

On the other hand, when these values agree with each other, you will feel like you are in the groove and things are moving. At times you may even feel like good things are happening on its own.

Well, I posit that things don’t just happen; both good and bad. Things happen for a reason – the Law of Cause and Effect (or seed time and harvest). When you take an action that contradicts your personal values, you will be entangled in inner conflict. According to Anthony Robbins, this inner conflict will lead to:

• get indecisive and waver in our actions
• procrastinate or try to make everything “perfect”
• feel helpless in our ability to meet our goals
• beat ourselves up unfairly when results don’t go our way
• find low-quality ways to meet our needs
• get into conflicts in our relationships
• lose clarity and momentum, and then give up

You and I have a powerful sensor built into us that can guide us to success and happiness. However, years of lack of use has resulted in the dulling of this sensor. But the good news is you can reactivate this sensor in you.

Ask yourself these questions and answer it honestly to yourself (you don’t have to tell anyone else about your answers)

1. What makes me truly happy? Why?
2. What makes me really sad? Why?
3. What do I want the most in my life? Why?

When you are answering these questions, don’t just settle for 1 word answers. Take as much time as you need to peel away layers of what the world has programmed into you as the right answer. Just give you one example.

Recently, I did this exercise with one of my clients. When I asked her the question, “What do you want in your life?”, she answered me stuffs like money, fame, career success, etc. I then proceeded to guide her through a process of creative visualisation and she got very emotional during the process. Right after the process, I asked her the same question, “What do you want in your life?” This time her answer shocked even herself. Not once did she mention about money, fame or career success. In fact, what she really wanted was a meaningful relationship with her family and her loved ones.

So, take the time needed and just visualise the answer to the 3 questions above. Find out what your core values are and you will have greater clarity in life.

Live your passion!

By Luke Bong

The ability to speak in public has always been highly regarded by men and women since the dawn of time. From the ancient Greek philosophers Socrates, Plato and Aristotle who attracted  large groups of men to listen to them speak in ancient halls to the modern day orators such as Barack Obama who mesmerised people all over the world during his presidential election campaign (but not necessarily after), it is evident that great speakers have been immortalized by their speeches. Who could ever forget Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” or John F. Kennedy’s “Ask not what your country could do for you”? Or our beloved ‘Bapa Kemerdekaan’ Tunku Abdul Rahman’s “Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!” These were speeches that defined their era.

Yet, public speaking remains a skill which many people wished to have but wouldn’t really believe they could have. It is as if the world is divided into two groups: public speakers and non-public speakers. When I conduct my public speaking workshops, I would ask the participants, “Please raise your hand if you are a public speaker.” Nine times out of ten, no one would raise a hand.  “Well,” I said, “I know that we Malaysians are extremely humble. But, do you hide yourself in some corners first when you want to speak to someone?”

Of course not and that’s exactly my point! None of us is a private speaker (if such a term even exists). We are all public speakers even though we may be speaking to an audience of just one. However, many people believe that public speaking occurs only when one addresses a large group of audience. Actually, that’s just one of the many types of public speaking situations.

Other examples of public speaking situations include a teacher teaching a class, a manager conducting a meeting, a salesperson making a sale and even a parent disciplining a child. In fact if an office receptionist applies the techniques of public speaking when answering the phone, she would become an even more effective frontline customer service personnel for the company. Simply put, mastery of public speaking skills will certainly benefit you.

I sincerely believe that anyone can learn to speak in public. Even though a lot of people whom I’ve met revered those who could speak eloquently in public as if they possessed some forms of magical abilities, there’s really no magic involved. And I have some good news for you. Public speaking is a type of skill and as with all types of skills in the world, it can be learned. Just like you can learn how to ride a bicycle or play the piano. However, just because it can be learned doesn’t mean that it’s going to be easy. A lot of people can ride the bicycle but not everyone is a Lance Armstrong.

When it comes to public speaking, the first obstacle to overcome can be found in the grey matters between the ears. Sir George Jessel, a 19^th century English judge hit the nail on the head when he said, “The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public!” Those of us who have had the honour of suddenly being asked to deliver a speech during an official function would readily agree with Sir George Jessel. “My mind just went blank.” We hear that a lot, don’t we?

Comedian Jerry Sienfield once commented about a survey in the United States which showed that the fear of speaking in public ranked higher than the fear of death. He noted that based on the results of the survey, if he were asked to deliver a eulogy, he would rather be the one lying in the coffin instead. Just how true this is, you might ask.

Well, I’ve seen people’s faces literary turned pale just before they spoke in front of a group. And some would rather call in sick than run the gauntlet. Perhaps the popular TV show ‘Fear Factor’ should have considered adding public speaking as one of the challenges to be overcome. If the survey result was accurate, the participants would readily swallow the fat and juicy larvae than stand up to speak before a crowd!

So, how do we overcome the fear of public speaking? Just like if you were to go sailing, you would set the sail first, and so you must set your mindset right first before you could speak in public. The human mind is very interesting. It could think of positive and negative thoughts but not both at the same time. You must make a choice about what thoughts to think about regarding public speaking. If you think “I can’t speak”, “I’m not qualified enough” or “I’m so nervous I’ll forget everything I want to say” you will certainly freak out even before you start to speak.

Instead, choose to fill your minds with positive thoughts such as “I’m a public speaker”, “I like myself”, “I’m an interesting person” or “I’ll touch someone’s life today”. By focusing on these positives thoughts, we would be in a more ready state of mind to deliver a speech. Anthony Robbins taught that what the mind focuses on grows. And my personal experience tells me that it’s true. A confident person always outperforms a nervous one.

This week, choose to think positive thoughts about yourself speaking in public. The ancient Chinese sage Confucius said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Well, this is the first step that you are taking in this long journey of personal growth. Now, raise your hand if you are a public speaker.

Please send your feedback and comments to luke@lukebong.com.

What distinguish these two groups of people most isn’t their ability. Rather, it is their will. The never quit attitude. I found a great video on YouTube on this subject and I’d like to share them here with you.

Whatever goal it is that you are thinking of achieving in your life is not in your mind by chance. If you feel strongly about that goal, then it’s a sign that you are meant to go for it. It’s your destiny. Or maybe a calling. Call it what you want. But one thing for sure, it will remain as a hope if you don’t do something about it now.

In closing, I want to quote a great line from William Wallace taken from my favourite movie “Braveheart”.

Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live… at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM!

Live your passion!

My friends, it is only as real as you believe it to be. When faced with a challenge, one person may view it as a blessing while another person may view the exact situation as a curse.

I was most inspired by my good friend whom I have the utmost respect for, Madam Teoh Poh Yew who says that real creativity is not about changing how something works because not everyone is in a position to change the system. Instead, real creativity is about creating ‘magic’ through all the constraints and limitations in the existing system.

Instead of saying “I can’t do this because of a,b,c are in the way”, choose to think “Now that a,b,c are in the way, what can I do to make the most of this situation?”

Now, that’s what I call creativity.

Have a creative day ahead, dear readers.

Live your passion!

As you can see from the CEO’s own words he is losing money on this deal and will more than likely never offer it again! So act now before the offer is gone forever.

After reading this statement, do you…

1. Rush for your credit card and start to key-in your order? Or;
2. Wait for another 1 or 2 days before acting on it? Or;
3. Laugh uncontrollably and think “Do you really expect me to take you up on that?”

Business is competitive and people will think of various ways to get more sales. But seriously, there are just some tactics that raise red flags in your target markets’ intelligent minds.

Here are some which I’ve come across and see if you feel the same way I do.

1. “I’m losing money offering this deal because I’m experimenting on a new system, blah, blah, blah.” Hello! If your product or services is that good, you wouldn’t even be losing money. See if Nike will offer you a money losing deal.
2. “I used to offer this program for $997 but I’m making this free for my online followers now.” Hi, I attended the same course last week before you decided to offer it for free. Can I get a full refund since you are so generous? What about 50%?
3. “This is a proven technique that will enable you to work 4 hours a day for 4 days a week and you can use the rest of your available time to live the life you truly desire.” So, why do you send your emails out at 1.05 am? Do you have a habit of working from 10.00pm to 2.00am?
4. “I’m going to share with you closely guarded secret that will enable you to blah, blah, blah.” If it’s such a closely guarded secret, are you sure you won’t be in mortal danger for leaking out the secret? I mean, won’t the brotherhood/sisterhood that is in charge of guarding that secret send assassins or hitman, etc?

Do you have any examples to share with me? Feel free to comment.

Live your passion!

Making the decision to attend the 4D3N seminar was a very big risk for me because the fees that I was paying was 2 times my monthly pay at that time. And to make it even riskier, I enrolled my wife to attend the seminar together with me. So, we were immediately RM6,000.00 in debt because I paid using my credit card. Together with the airfares and accommodation, it came up to about RM7,000.00 for the two of us.

Was it worth it? What if I tell you that I found my life’s calling there. Watching Tony Robbins inspiring the audience really moved me to want to be like him. Up till that time I was working as a lecturer in a private college earning a meager pay. I had a goal in mind at that time which was to work in a university as a lecturer and eventually be promoted to a professor in business management.

But UPW 2004 showed me my dream and the only thing left for me to do was to find the courage to follow that dream. I don’t want to be an academician in a university at all. No, that’s not for me.

I’m going to be a professional speaker and not just that, I’m going to be a motivational and inspirational speaker.

Do you want to know what’s the first thought that entered my mind? “Who is going to pay to listen to you speak, Luke? What have you got to offer to the public? Are you going to teach them how to lecture?”

I’ve met many people who never go beyond wanting to be a professional speaker. Perhaps its the uncertainty of what lies ahead. Perhaps its the amount of sacrifice that is needed in order to pursue this dream full time.

I didn’t care. (Come on, after spending RM7,000 on the UPW seminar, I’d better get something out of it, right?) I made that decision there and then. I was going to become a professional speaker. Period.

Funny how life will make opportunities where you don’t expect it. A year after completing UPW, I joined an insurance company as an executive in agency management. At that time, I couldn’t really see any connection this new job had with my dream. But I needed a higher pay so I took up the job.

Within 1 week, I felt like quitting. It just wasn’t me, I thought. I didn’t fit in because it was a different jungle compared to the college. But I didn’t quit. Instead I told myself that I was going to achieve something significant before moving on. I made that decision when I was having lunch in KL during my induction training. My wife, who was then pregnant with our first child had to go to the hospital for check-ups on her own whilst I was away from home. No way was I going to let her go through that in vain.

In 4 years, I was promoted and upgraded 3 times. And in 2008, I was the sole recipient for my company’s Most Outstanding Employee award from East Malaysia.

And with that, good money, too. So, when the time came for me to venture out as a professional speaker, it was a really difficult decision to make. I wished I could tell you that I woke up one morning and decided to fire my boss. Far from that. Instead I woke up in the middle of the night thinking will I have enough money to pay for mortgage, my car, my family expenses, my study loan repayment, my family’s insurance policies, my son’s education, food on the table, etc. Not cool, right?

On my second attempt to throw in my resignation letter, I succeeded. (I chickened out at my first attempt). And with that I became unemployed. But like I said earlier how life will make opportunities where you don’t expect it? Well, it turned out that my experience in dealing with the agency force and communicating with different types of people from students to professionals proved to be of great interest to a large number of audience from various industries.

That was 2 years ago. Was it a bed of roses? Not really. But I’d say that what I’m doing now is worth it. Every single minute of it. And it all began with the courage to follow my dreams.

What is your dream? Find the courage to follow it because you will find your true meaning there.

Live your passion!

I used to think that things only come alive whenever I was in the scene. In other words, if I weren’t there, everything would not be moving and life basically stood still for other people and living beings. (I told you this was crazy stuff) I would sit in my room thinking about this concept and to tell you the truth, I felt really powerful. It was as if I could have anything that I could ever want.

That was until I realized that wacky ideas like this only existed in science fiction. But I couldn’t help thinking, wouldn’t it be cool if you could really have that power? I mean, to just have the universe centered around you and to know that you can have anything that you want in life.

Actually, you could. No, that’s not a typo. You read that correctly. You really COULD have the universe centered around you. That’s what successful people have been doing all this while. And it is called The Power of Intention.

In Napoleon Hill’s classic ‘Think and Grow Rich’, he wrote about the secret of how to accumulate wealth based on his research on people like Andrew Carnegie, Thomas Edison, Henry Ford and hundreds of other self-made tycoons. And it all boils down to this.

The level of success (or failure) that you experience all boils down to the seed of thought that you planted and cultivated in your mind, both conscious and subconscious.

I used to wonder, if by thinking alone we can achieve success, why is there a need for good ol’ hard work? After all, in ‘The Secret’ (a movie about The Law of Attraction) we were told that we attract what we want and don’t want by giving energy to our thoughts. So, does that mean that thinking alone is all it takes?

Nay, my friends. While thought is a powerful thing, you need to apply the Power of Intention to magnify the power of your thoughts. The Power of Intention is doing whatever it takes until you get what you want.

It’s not the same as wishing and hoping.They are too lame.

I’m talking about being so certain about what you want (a thought) and not budging even when faced with ridicule or setback (intention).

Remember the famous story about Edison’s invention of the incandescent light bulb? He failed in more than 1000 attempts before finally making 1 that worked. Now, that’s intention.

Here’s some more proof about Edison’s Power of Intention to succeed. Still about the humble light bulb. What if I tell you that Edison wasn’t the original inventor of the light bulb? What if I tell you that history shows there were 23 other inventors before Edison? Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incandescent_light_bulb and you can read all about it.

Can anyone name the other 23 inventors before Edison? I certainly can’t. What about you? Why is it that only Edison succeeded but not the others? Was it intelligence? Luck? Timing? Technology?

Personally, I think it’s a little bit of the above plus a lot of Power of Intention. Perhaps if the earlier inventors also persevered over 1000 failure experiments, they would have been credited as the inventor of the original incandescent light bulb, and not Edison.

With intention like that, you can want anything and you will have it.

Live your passion!

It’s fight night. You are facing your toughest opponent ever. Will you be victorious? Or is it the beginning of the end? What goes on in your mind moments before you face the obstacle will determine the outcome of the situation.

Each person has his or her own opponent to face. It may be a person, a thing, an event or a situation. To other people, it may be a very small and unimportant matter. But to the person who is about to enter the fight, the opponent suddenly grows to a gigantic size.

In the world of professional fighting (e.g. Mixed martial art, boxing, kick boxing), champion fighters know the importance of mind conditioning before the big fight. That’s why you see a lot of mind games before the fight. They will taunt each other and call each other derogatory names. It’s not for fun nor is it really personal. Rather it is purposely done to throw an opponent off.

You see, whoever is affected by the taunt is walking into the fight half-defeated. What these professional fighters know is that their job before the fight is to sow seeds of doubt and fear. In the ring, they will proceed to beat the daylights out of their opponents.

What’s the missing link? It’s mental toughness. It’s not enough to just have skills and knowledge. No sir, you must be able to withstand pressure and not crack. Winners have turned mental toughness into an art.

You must work to strengthen your personal mental toughness. To develop mental toughness, you must spend the time that is absolutely necessary to find out what you really want in your life. And if you are not ready to invest (or some may say to sacrifice) your time and energy into this process, you will not be able to find that source of power that will propel you towards winning.

I’ll give you an example. Suppose you are out of shape physically and you really want to lose weight. You may sign up for the gym, join aerobics classes, start a healthy diet, etc. But these activities are not enough to guarantee you success. The question is how long will you stick to these activities without compromising?

That, my friends, is the measure of your mental toughness. The cornerstone of the Tao of Winning.

Live your passion!

What’s the Secret to Success?

Long ago in ancient China, there was a young man who believed that his destiny was to become the most revered kung fu master in the Middle Kingdom. He ate, slept and dreamed kung fu.

One day, he discovered an ancient kung fu text while meditating deep in the forest. He flipped open the text and to his dismay he saw the words, “To master this amazing Kung Fu, you must first castrate yourself.” He immediately closed the text and for the next 3 months, he contemplated on whether he could gather enough courage to perform the castration on himself.

Finally, for the sake of fulfilling his life’s destiny, he took a knife and did it. After he recovered, he returned to the text and flipped to the next page. The text read, “However, even if you didn’t castrate yourself, you can still master this amazing Kung Fu.”

Shocked, he quickly turned to the next page. The text read, “And if you happened to castrate yourself, it is not a guarantee that you will master this amazing Kung Fu.”

Granted that’s just a story. But many times in our quest to become a winner, we search high and low for The Secret and discovered that even if we learn about the secret, it still doesn’t guarantee us success because of the missing link.

What’s the missing link? “To access to this missing link, you must first ca………..” Nah!

In the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing more on this interesting topic of The Way of The Winner.

Stay tuned and in the meantime, live your passion!